"Doctor Surlee was far too familiar with the feeling of isolation. Hiding away from Toontown on the 26th of each month for multiple years tended to do that to a Toon. The isolating feeling that came around in February, however, was different. It was just the ValenToon’s Day celebrations."
As ValenToon's Day approaches, Doctor Surlee starts to consider telling someone why he's so quiet at this time of year.
Happy early Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week from your local non-SAM aro!
Doctor Surlee was far too familiar with the feeling of isolation. Hiding away from Toontown on the 26th of each month for multiple years tended to do that to a Toon. So did turning yourself into a monkey to hide your identity, using an experimental pocket watch to travel back in time and then pretending you don’t know anything that’s going to happen in the future. He didn’t have to pretend anymore, though – he had been in unwritten territory for years now. Even so, the ghost of the 26th would sometimes creep up on him and place its icy hand on his shoulder. It was a bit of a struggle to socialise those days, but he still made the effort. Recovery didn’t come easy, and besides, he had a job to do!
The isolating feeling that came around in February, however, was different. It wasn’t cold, it didn’t come with baggage nor was it something he felt he could justify. It was just the ValenToon’s Day celebrations. Seeing so much emphasis put on love made him feel left out - this so-called ‘tooniversal experience’ was something he’d never had. And if he had to be honest, he couldn’t quite see the appeal of it, either. If one wanted company, would it not be easier to spend time with friends and colleagues instead of pursuing a romantic interest? So when ValenToon’s came around each year, it put a hollow feeling in his chest and it wouldn’t budge until the celebrations were over.
Now had he TOLD anyone about this? Of course not! They were too busy celebrating ValenToon’s! To speak up about it would put a damper on their festivities! The last thing Surlee wanted to be was a buzzkill. That would hurt the silliness levels of Toontown, too. But it did sting to keep lying about something - a lack of romantic attraction wasn’t something he felt incomplete without, but it did leave him in an awkward position when his colleagues talked about their romantic endeavours. He would just nod along, say something about committing to his job when asked about the love life he didn’t have and hope that no one would ask again. Most of his colleagues weren’t too bad about it. It was mostly Doctor Dimm that asked, and Surlee was confident that he wouldn’t stop asking. He had considered telling him upfront that he didn’t have any interest in dating, and he was confident he wouldn’t be dismissive of him. Whether or not he’d understand was up for debate, but he would most likely forget within a day or two anyway. Surlee figured it would be a waste of energy trying to explain all of it to Dimm.
Which he wouldn’t be doing.
…On second thought, maybe he should try to explain all of it to someone. Not Dimm, obviously. Someone else. But who? Or how? There wasn’t much that could be done to make him feel better about ValenToon’s, anyway. The playgrounds themselves reacted when the holiday approached.
…And that reminded him! There was that hypothesis he came up with last year about the Silly Meter around ValenToon’s, but he didn’t have any time to test it! ValenToon’s Day was a week away, and it was only 6AM! There would still be time to start the test! Now, where were those swatche-
Wait. Why would they be in Toon Hall? They must have been back at Loony Labs. With the Portable Hole, he would be able to make a quick trip to the lab and back, but would he be able to find his red swatches within a little less than an hour with all the mess on his desk? Probably not. In that case, he would just have to hope someone brought that camera from the lab in with them today. If not, then the hypothesis would have to wait until next year.
The next hour-ish came and went without disruption. Just a few minutes past 7AM, Professor Prepostera and Professor Purrview entered Toon Hall chatting to one another, the latter with a half-eaten bar in hand. Prepostera turned his attention to Surlee and the Silly Meter as Purrview took a large bite out of her bar.
Prepostera waved hello as he greeted, “Good morning, Surlee! Early as usual, I see.”
“Yes, well,” Surlee stared at the Silly Meter as he replied, “surely the buzz of ValenToon’s Day will see an increase in Toontown’s silliness levels.”
Purrview quickly swallowed the piece of bar in her mouth before piping up with, “Oh, speaking of ValenToon’s! Me and Prepostera saw a treasure in the playground change shape into a heart just before we came in! We stopped to observe and take notes on it, so we did come in a liiitle late. Sorry.”
“It’s fine. It was for science, and you got here before Dimm.”
“Well, I guess I won’t have to worry too much about that, then.” Purrview immediately switched the subject as she and Prepostera settled into their spots in front of the Silly Meter, lighting up as she rambled, “But anyway, watching that treasure transform was really quite fascinating! I thought watching an ice cream cone turn into a heart would be a lot weirder, but it was more like watching a flower bloom! Prepostera did some sketches of the process, we’ll have to put them in the archives later alongside the notes I took.”
Surlee glanced around the room, then asked, “By the way, where’s Fumbdound? He usually comes in with you two.”
“Oh! He went back to his estate to get the lab camera, he’s been meaning to return it for-”
Purrview was cut off by the sound of a Portable Hole opening beside her and Doctor Fumbdound bouncing out of it. He nearly hit his head on the ceiling and landed with such force that his legs made him wobble like a spring. As his body began to balance, he plunged his hand into his shorts’ pocket and pulled out a camera with a sticker of the Loony Labs logo haphazardly placed onto the side by Doctor Dimm.
Fumbdound held the camera up high in the air with both hands as he breathlessly announced, “I GOT THE CAMERA. Also hi Purrview.”
With a wave, Purrview replied, “Hi!”
“Hello Fumbdound! I was just wondering where you were,” Surlee greeted. “May I have the camera? I have a hypothesis I would like to test but I didn’t bring my swatches.”
“Of course!” Fumbdound walked over to Surlee and placed the camera on his head. “Here you go!”
As Fumbdound took a few steps back, Surlee warily glanced up at the camera. He grabbed it with one hand before it had the chance to topple off his head. He then placed his clipboard down beside him to take a picture of the condensed silliness inside the Silly Meter, then put the camera in his endlessly deep pocket. Toon pockets were funny like that.
With almost everyone present, conversation drifted to small talk between the Scientoons. ValenToon’s Day was right around the corner, and Surlee’s colleagues were eager to talk about it between assigning Toons ToonTasks for a Silly Reader for their Shticker Book. Surlee directed his focus to the Silly Meter, though he did pick up bits and pieces of the conversation, such as the implication Purrview was finally going to ask out that girl she had a crush on for the past year, “I wish I had a crush,” “I’ve just been waiting for the right person ever since,” and “Say, where’s Dimm?”
At precisely 11AM, Doctor Dimm finally arrived at Toon Hall. He didn’t seem bothered by the fact that he was somehow later than usual, but no one could ever be sure with that duck.
“Hello Dimm!” Prepostera greeted as Dimm waddled over to him.
“Hey guys!” Dimm greeted in return.
As Dimm got his Silly Reader out, Surlee asked with a sigh, “What kind of wacky shenanigans did you get caught up in for you to be so late?”
Dimm casually replied, “I forgot to set my alarm.”
…That was it?
Cocking his head to the side, Fumbdound asked, “You didn’t visit Postmaster Pete at all?”
“Nope! Actually, I only got up 15 minutes ago!”
What.
Raising an eyebrow, Surlee pressed, “And you had breakfast, got dressed, cleaned yourself, packed your lunch AND got here… within 15 minutes?”
Dimm blinked. After a moment, he said, “I forgot to make my lunch.”
The other Scientoons simultaneously let out a disappointed sigh.
“I knew it was too good to be true…” Surlee muttered.
“And now that I think about it, I think I also forgot to shine my bill,” Dimm added.
“That doesn’t sound nearly as bad to me,” Fumbdound replied.
“Most days it wouldn’t be, but what if one of my admirers comes to confess their love to me today? Or tomorrow? Or the day after that? I need to look as handsome as possible when they do!”
“And if they don’t?” Surlee asked.
“Well, at least they didn’t see my unshined bill!” Dimm looked at his Silly Reader for a moment before suddenly adding, “Oh, Surlee! You got a crush on anyone yet?”
Surlee sighed, then looked back down at the clipboard in his hands. “No.”
“Does anyone have a crush on you?”
“If they did, I wouldn’t know.”
“Aww. But it’s not ValenToon’s Day just yet, so there’s still time!”
“There’s always time. Love isn’t dependent on a holiday.”
Dimm giggled before telling Surlee, “Geez, if you can say something THAT romantic, I’d be surprised if you didn’t have a date by next week!”
Surlee bit his lip and tried not to frown too much. He really should have thought about how that would be misinterpreted before he said it.
The next hour came and went surprisingly quick. Lunch time was never at a set time (rigid daily schedules are too Cog-like), but it always came around 12pm and was signalled by the loudest stomach growl. That day, Prepostera’s stomach practically roared, and Surlee swore he saw the Silly Meter wobble slightly from how loud it was. Prepostera sheepishly laughed as he said, “I guess my stomach couldn’t wait any longer for the lunch I prepared today!”
All the Scientoons headed out into Toontown Central’s playground to eat their lunch and get some sunshine. Surlee opted eat his lunch – a simple sandwich – on the steps that led to the playground’s Toon HQ and Toon Hall. Upon taking his first bite into the sandwich, he realised that maybe sitting where he could see so many reminders that ValenToon’s was upon him wasn’t such a great idea. Not that he would have been able to escape it anyway, but it wouldn’t have been as bad in the streets.
The slap-slap of Dimm’s webbed feet behind Surlee went unnoticed, and he flinched when the former said, “Heya Surlee! I’m going to Punchline Place to get some lunch, you wanna come?”
Surlee glanced down at the barely-eaten sandwich in his gloved hands with furrowed brows as he chewed the piece in his mouth. He swallowed, then replied, “I don’t see why not. Besides, who knows what could happen to you on the way there.”
“Cool! Let’s go!” Dimm began jogging towards the entrance to Punchline Place, leaving Surlee wide-eyed at his brisk pace. He quickly took another bite of his sandwich before getting up and jogging after him. He caught up just a little way down the street.
There wasn’t much conversation between Surlee and Dimm as they walked down the street. Dimm was focused on his destination, walking from side of the footpath to the other to check store signs, while Surlee quietly munched the rest of his sandwich and watched. There were a few instances where Dimm would accidentally walk into a Cog while checking store signs, but they were quickly dispatched. Dimm, as oblivious as he could be, knew how to handle Cogs. The ones that patrolled the streets of Toontown Central were nothing more than an annoyance.
The two of them had walked all the way to the opposite end of Punchline Place, where Dimm led Surlee into Sundae Funnies Ice Cream. Ice cream for lunch wasn’t something Surlee would consider, but he was with Dimm, and ice cream for lunch was quite silly. He didn’t oppose.
The owner of the store, Cindy Sprinkles, beamed as she greeted, “Hay Doctor Dimm! I see you managed to bring Doctor Surlee along with ya!”
“Sure did!” Dimm replied, puffing his chest out a little.
“So what’ll it be today, Doc?” Cindy asked, resting an arm on the counter she stood behind.
Dimm put his hand deep into his pocket and pulled out a handful of jellybeans. Then he reached his free hand into the same pocket, pulled out a few more jellybeans and transferred them into the first one. He counted them thrice before putting them on the counter, telling Cindy, “A Silly Sundae Supreme, please!”
“Cool!” She snickered at her own pun before counting Dimm’s jellybeans for herself. Once she had finished, she looked up at Surlee and asked, “D’ya want anything, Doctor Surlee?”
“Oh, um…” Surlee peeked at the menu hanging on the wall beside Cindy, then replied, “I’ll just have a two-scoop ice cream cone, please. One mint, one chocolate.”
“Gotcha! That’ll be ten jellybeans!”
Surlee grabbed ten jellybeans out of his pocket and handed them to Cindy. Cindy scooped up all the jellybeans and put them in a jar behind her. She turned back to her two customers and told them, “I’ll have your orders ready soon! Why don’t ya take a seat while you wait?”
Dimm did exactly that, waddling over to a table and sitting down. Surlee followed and sat opposite to him. He immediately rested his chin in the palm of his hand and looked around the store, noting the strings of pink and red paper cut-out hearts lining the window sills.
Dimm had also apparently been looking at the decorations, as he piped up with, “It sure is exciting to see all these ValenToon’s decorations, huh Surlee?”
“I suppose. I don’t understand the big fuss, but they do help Toontown’s silliness levels, so I can’t be mad.”
The smile on Dimm’s bill faded as he stared quietly at Surlee. The moment didn’t last for much longer, as Cindy called out, “One Silly Sundae Supreme and one two-scoop ice cream cone!”
Dimm’s face lit back up as he hopped out of his seat and jogged over to the counter. Surlee followed close behind in a less energetic walk. The Scientoons took their respective orders, and Cindy waved goodbye as she said, “See y’all later!”
While Surlee got to licking his ice cream as soon as he was out the door, Dimm simply carried his sundae and didn’t take a single bite out of it. The two of them had made their way a block down the street before Surlee asked, “So… where are you going to be eating that?”
“The pond,” Dimm replied.
“The pond?! Dimm, your sundae’s going to start melting by the time we reach the pond!”
“Oh, I don’t mind,” Dimm reassured him. “I like the little ice cream puddles.”
A moment later, a thought crossed Surlee’s mind that he immediately voiced: “You do mean this street’s pond, right?”
“Yep!”
Well thank goodness for that. For a moment Surlee thought Dimm might have meant Silly Street’s pond or something.
The walk to Punchline Place’s pond was quiet. Dimm was more careful to stick to the footpaths this time – Surlee supposed it was because he didn’t have to look at signs now. Or maybe he didn’t want the Cogs to steal his sundae?
A couple of minutes later, they arrived at the pond and sat in between two docks. Dimm immediately started scarfing down his sundae while Surlee was content to continue quietly licking his ice cream.
The pond was quiet, even with Toons out and about on the street fighting Cogs. The fishertoon usually stationed nearby was notably absent - a sign hung on a nearby tree branch reading ‘Gone Fishing On A Date’ and a bucket beneath it filled in for him.
For a minute or so, Surlee and Dimm sat quietly, enjoying their frozen treats. The next, Dimm paused his sundae devouring to ask what he surely saw as an innocuous question: “Hey, wait a second. Back at Sundae Funnies, didn’t you say you don’t understand ‘the big fuss’ about ValenToon’s? Why’s that?”
Surlee felt a chill run down his spine. The realisation he said what he did slammed into his mind like a runaway Cashbot HQ train. He risked a glance at Dimm, who was staring back at him with curiosity. Of all the Toons who could have asked, it had to be him, didn’t it?
…Well, if history repeated itself, then his colleagues would have found out eventually anyway. He may as well have been proactive about it this time.
Releasing a breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding in, Surlee explained, “Well… I suppose there isn’t a better way of saying it than I’ve never understood. I’ve never fallen in love, not even in the original timeline. With how much emphasis Toons put on it at this time of year, it annoys me that I haven’t felt it. It’s like…” He paused and frowned at the pond as he thought for a few seconds before asking, “You know how we get you to do small jobs around the lab while the rest of us work on something bigger?”
Having resumed his sundae eating and now with his spoon in his mouth, Dimm nodded.
“It’s kind of like that,” Surlee said. “It’s like I’ve been assigned a small job with friendship while everyone else works on their big romance project. And I don’t know why everyone’s making such a big deal about the romance project because I’m stuck with the friendship job. I like the friendship job, and I certainly don’t envy those working on the romance project, but I wish someone would tell me more about it so I know what they’re talking about when they mention those hopefully metaphorical butterflies in their stomachs or how exciting it is for them when their hearts start racing. I feel left out with no way in.”
Things were quiet between the two Scientoons for a moment before Dimm replied, “Oh wow. When you put it like that, romance sounds really silly.”
“Romance being a form of silliness is how I’ve come to see it. Which only makes things ironic, seeing as I study silliness.”
“Yeah, that must be weird.” Dimm looked up at Surlee as he told him, “I can’t help you with the ‘understanding romance’ part, and I don’t really understand how you don’t fall in love, but there’s probably a word for it! Like how I’m bi!”
“…Hm, I suppose.”
“Also, are you gonna eat the rest of your ice cream cone, or…?”
Surlee let out a surprised yelp as he looked down at the second scoop of ice cream resting on his cone beginning to dribble down. He frantically licked it up before biting into the first scoop. He immediately regretted it.
February 14th, 7:30-something AM. Surlee knew that there wasn’t any rush; he could arrive at Toon Hall later than he usually did and no one would be mad. But if he didn’t find those red swatches today then he would probably end up ripping his hair out. He had been checking the entire lab every day, and there had been no sign of those elusive swatches. So, naturally, he decided to look again. He could have sworn they were near his terminal, unless maybe they were closer to the chalkboard in the break room? Unless maybe they had grown legs and walked over to someone else’s personal lab, or back to his house, or-
“Are you alright, Surlee?”
Surlee yelped and whipped around to see Prepostera standing in the doorway.
With a sigh of relief, Surlee replied, “Prepostera, you scared me. Did you just get here? I’ve misplaced my red swatches and I can’t find them.”
“Well I came back just now. Purrview, Fumbdound and I arrived at Toon Hall half an hour ago. I volunteered to go find you.” Walking into the room, Prepostera asked, “Did you check around your house before you left?”
“I did, I checked two days ago! I don’t know why they were there, but I found my swatches for every other hue but not my red ones!”
“Hmmm. Most strange indeed.”
Prepostera knelt down and began lifting papers off the floor. Surlee watched him for a second before quietly chiding himself for not thinking to check the floor sooner then joining him.
Looking up from the floor for a moment, Prepostera asked, “Did you know that Dimm was here after hours last night?”
“Dimm was here after hours last night?” Surlee echoed.
“Yes, I was waiting for him with Fumbdound. He spent a whole half an hour in there before he came out and said that he was ‘just taking care of something.’”
“Weird. That’s the kind of behaviour I would expect from myself.”
The two of them continued lifting papers off the floor, but the elusive red swatches were nowhere to be found. Unlike Surlee, Prepostera neatly stacked the papers on the desk once they were done.
“By the way, how did all that paper get on the floor?” Prepostera asked.
“I have no idea. I was in a hurry when I first came in, so I only noticed when I… slipped on one.”
Prepostera let out a half-suppressed laugh and a giggly, “Oh dear.”
Surlee responded by giving Prepostera a light poke with his elbow and telling him, “I don’t look at the floor when I run!”
As Prepostera got the rest of his giggles out of his system, Surlee made his way over to his terminal. His eyes started fixed on the floor and slowly moved upwards until they landed on a most peculiar sight. On top of his terminal sat a birthday card on a small, notably rectangular box of chocolates. He assumed he was too focused on finding the red swatches to notice them before.
Pointing to the box and card, Surlee asked Prepostera, “Does Dimm have anything to do with this?”
“Maybe.”
“So he does.”
“Alright, I was waiting for you to notice it. I’ve already opened my box.”
Surlee grabbed the card first, only to find a folded piece of paper falling out of it. He took a quick peek inside the card and saw that the first half of the word ‘birthday’ had been messily crossed out in black crayon, leaving the card to read, ‘Happy day! May you have a toony and bright day today.’ He then bent over to pick up the piece of folded paper that had fallen out and unfolded it as he stood back up.
He stood quietly as he read the paper’s contents, a letter written in green crayon: “Hiya Surlee! Happy ValenToon’s Day! Or just February 14th, since I know now that you don’t really like ValenToon’s. I decided to get chocolates and cards for all my friends (including you, buddy!) for ValenToon’s this year, so after we had lunch together the other day, I wrote a reminder to myself on my glove to not get you anything too ValenToon-y! (It still hasn’t washed off.) Unfortunately, the store I went to only had two ValenToon’s cards for friends AND they had hearts on them, so I got you a birthday card instead. Enjoy the chocolate! – Dimm
“(P.S: I made sure to get a box that wasn’t heart-shaped.)
“(P.P.S: I may have eaten some of the chocolates while writing this.)
“(P.P.P.S: When is your birthday?)”
“So that’s what the permanent marker was about,” Surlee muttered to himself.
He set the letter aside and grabbed the box of chocolates. Sure enough, the box had already been opened, evident by the various dents in all its sides. Opening the box revealed several empty chocolate wrappers resting atop the rest of the chocolates. He stared at the chocolates for a second before shrugging and taking one as he put the box back on top of his terminal.
From behind him, Prepostera said, “Oh, there’s a sorry note over here.” He spread out several strips of glossy paper with two or three words each written on them into a column as he noted, “This must be Dimm’s handwriting. I’ve never seen it in pen before.”
“He must have grabbed the first thing he could find,” Surlee guessed.
“’Sorry for the mess, bumped into the desk.’ Well, that explains that.” Prepostera picked up a strip of paper as he began to question, “How was the first thing he found so th-”
The other side of the strip had a gradient of red paint samples that got lighter at the bottom. One particular sample had ‘Silly Meter silliness’ and a line underneath.
“…Are these the-”
“Yes.”
Surlee quickly gathered the red swatches off the table and from Prepostera’s hand, giving him a quiet, “Thank you.” He glanced back at the box of chocolates on his terminal for a moment before deciding to take it with him as well. It was a good place to hold the red swatches, too. He put the box in his pocket and took out his Portable Hole as he said to Prepostera, “We should really be heading to Toon Hall now. I don’t want to keep the others waiting any more than I already have.”
It was 7:43 when Surlee and Prepostera arrived at Toon Hall. Purrview and Fumbdound immediately lit up when they saw Surlee.
“Surlee! You’re alright! I was starting to worry something bad happened to you! You didn’t get hurt, did you?” Purrview said.
“I did slip on some stray paper, but despite the bruise, I’m fine. I simply got caught up in trying to find my red swatches.”
With wide eyes, Fumbdound questioned, “And? Did you find them?”
“Dimm found them.”
“It turns out he’d used the backs of them to write a sorry note,” Prepostera explained. “He bumped into Surlee’s desk, and it made a lot of paper fall onto the floor.”
Purrview and Fumbdound nodded as the latter took a chocolate out of his pocket and slowly unwrapped it.
Things were slightly slower that day, between most Toons celebrating ValenToon’s Day outside and Fumbdound’s continuing to munch on chocolates not leaving him many opportunities to converse.
Dimm showed up a couple of hours later, dramatically swinging the doors open with a brighter-than-usual smile on his bill. “Hello everyone, did you find my gifts?”
He was met with affirmation from the other Scientoons that they found the chocolates and cards he placed the night before.
“Toontastic! I’d been saving up since last year for it. Also, it turns out that not many people make ValenToon’s cards for friends.”
Purrview made an ‘O’ shape with her mouth before she replied, “I was wondering what that piece of paper taped onto the front of mine was there for. Like, I love my friends too! I don’t why they don’t make more platonic ValenToon’s cards. I’d make some myself, but I’m not exactly the artistic type…”
As Purrview continued on, Surlee gave Dimm a tap on the shoulder. “Thank you,” he whispered to him.
“Aww, no prob Surlee! Does it also happen to be your birthday today too?”
“I don’t- No, it’s not my birthday.” Surlee reached into his pocket as he added, “But, you did find my red swatches! So thank you again for that.”
“Wait- I did?”
Surlee pulled out his box of chocolates and took the red swatches out. Dimm stared blankly at them until Surlee flipped them around to the side with the sorry note.
“Ohhh! So THAT’S what those are!”
“If I may ask, where did you find them?”
Dimm thought for a moment before replying, “Pretty sure they were in one of the drawers in your desk. Same with that pen I used.”
The desk drawers. Of course they were there! How could he forget about the desk drawers when he saw that desk every single day?!
“I see. I’ll have to remember to check there if I lose something again.” He put the red swatches and the box of chocolates back in his pocket as he added, “But also, thank you for remembering what I told you about the other day. To tell you the truth, I wasn’t expecting you to.”
“Well it seemed awfully important and I didn’t want to forget this time. The last thing we need is someone upset on ValenToon’s Day,” Dimm explained. He was quiet for a few moments before adding, “Or any day.”
“Good point,” Surlee replied. “But could you perhaps try to remember things we tell you around the lab as well?”
Dimm hummed in thought before telling Surlee, “I can try, but I will have to buy more pairs of gloves. And a pack of permanent markers.”
Well, it was a start.